Thursday, October 21, 2010

Warlock Mythbusters: episode 20101021 (c wut i did thar)

Omaigawd. People.

So, there’s this thing, that shows that the numbers for LOTRO (Lord of the Rings Online, for those that don’t really give a shard) have, like, quintupled recently.  And people, no doubt very smart people, have determined that that is due to the fact that World of Warcraft now sucks. This fact is not disputable if you are within 200 miles of a prot warrior. It just isn’t. Blizzard is going down.

I would like – if I may – to take you on a strange journey.

I would like to review this assertion and, well, peek under the hood and see what makes it tick.

Myth #1 – Numbers for LOTRO have octupled

Well, it can’t really be denied that they have, in fact, shown an amazing uptick recently. However, these numbers began to uptick before 4.0.1 came out. There are a few possibilities.

  1. The people that left WoW to start playing LOTRO are time travelers. They foresaw this era of suckiness and got ahead of the game, so they would be waiting to gank their less fortunate peers.
  2. Turbine was giving away free beer to all subscribers that month.
  3. Something else occurred, like, I dunno, they went free-to-play or something.

Obviously, #3 is right out – free to play? Don’t be silly! #1 is out, as we all know that Blizzard has hired all time-travelers to scout out the next-generation MMO. Ergo by process of elimination, they were giving away free beer!

OK, on to the next …

What, Grimm?

They DID?

Well, that’s embarrassing. Turns out, Turbine took LOTRO free-to play! So, all those people that don’t have money but wanna play, are playing LOTRO!

OK, from before I was so rudely interrupted by my benefactor….

Myth #2 – Blizzard’s going down!

The numbers at LOTRO are being used to support this assertion, that 4.0.1 sucks, it has driven players to LOTRO, and therefore more will be going off to games like EVE, DDO, Aion, etc.

So, apparently the people that are playing the free-to-play version of WoW are switching to the free-to-play version of LOTRO because WoW sucks.

What’s that? There’s no free-to-play version of WoW?

Oh, so these people were playing WoW, and if LOTRO wasn’t free to play, they’d pay a subscription fee for LOTRO?

But not until now?

Let me offer an alternative explanation.

Perhaps these people were playing another F2P game, and are now playing LOTRO-F2P. They aren’t paying Blizzard money now, and they weren’t paying them money then.

Let’s say that LOTRO’s influx amounts to 40%.

40% of 0 is, what, again?


Perhaps it would be better to say that whatever monetary gains that Turbine ekes out of this situation, it will have little to no effect on Blizzard’s bottom line, and has little to nothing to do with warrior tears.

Which is almost the diametric opposite of OMG BLIZZ IS GOIN DOWN PEEEPS.


Oh, I’m suppose to be yelling BUSTED!!!! at odd intervals. Bleah. That sounds retarded.


Here’s my dilemma. This information is available to anyone that cares to be informed. Those that do not, prefer their myths to reality, anyway. So, really, if you are reading this and inclined to not be a moron, you already know that the myths flying around are just a bunch of hot air and fel weed.

And if you’re inclined to read this far and you ARE a moron, please reconsider. I beg of you.

At any rate, those that this article are aimed at are already decided, and just need justification out of whatever data they can fish out of whatever context they can find it in. I doubt that this sort of post from anyone will do any good.

But, I’m a masochist, obviously. I stayed Demon through all of Wrath.