Sunday, January 25, 2009

It's your own fault.

From: Rivendare, Baron, Stratholm

To: Grimmtooth Wildhammer, Hunter, Ironforge

Subject: Damages

Mr. Wildhammer,
It has come to my attention that you have vandalized half of my city no less than fifteen (15) times in the past three weeks. Off the top of my head, this amounts to several hundred gold, a few dozen stacks of Runecloth, Various and Sundry bind-on-equip green, blue, and even purple items, and a few hundred scourgestones.

In addition, I have to tell you that the maintainers of my ziggurats are starting to get a little twitchy and are talking about raises or unionizing. The bosses, especially, have had to be disciplined severely on a number of occasions. You can imagine the effect on morale that that has. Ramstein has been especially troublesome, flinging bits of himself at me when he gets agitated.

And I am led to understand that I have you to thank for fifteen of the deaths I have personally experienced in the past three weeks. You should know that the fellow I work for is far more intimidating than yourself in this regard, so if you're trying to frighten me, it's not happening. Come to Naxx and we'll talk.

I am  including for your perusal an itemized bill of goods for the items you have destroyed and/or stolen from my domain. I am not at this time billing you for counseling for my minions, but that is subject to change pending your response. Regardless, I expect you to cease and desist immediately, or I will levy the full amount for treatment as well.

Sincerely,

Baron Rivendare

Lord of Stratholme


From: Grimmtooth Wildhammer, Ironforge

To: Rivendare, Baron, Lord of Stratholme

Subject: RE: Damages

Mr. Rivendare,

You have my greatest sympathies over your mental anguish and property loss. However, it is my position that you and your minions are there for the very purpose of being slain and looted. As such, reclamation of spoils in this case is allowable under the General Articles of Roleplaying. In short, "finders keepers, losers weepers".

I am willing, however, to compromise.

You have in your posession the reins to a magnificent undead steed. That's all I'm looking for. For the past fifteen attempts, you have failed to give up the aformentioned reins, forcing me to return for another try.

It's simple. Drop the reins, and you will rarely, if ever, see me again within the city limits of Stratholme.

Don't make me come over to Naxx and spank your pallid butt.

All due respect to lackeys,

Grimmtooth Wildhammer